Stop! Think about that question. What makes you feel strong and empowered? Don’t answer with your spouse, family, or children. Imagine you are alone in this world. What is your rock where you can dig confidence out of your boots if you need to? This question is probably one of the most important questions you will ever answer for yourself.
I understand drawing reassurance from my husband’s warm hug when I need it most. However, learning to draw strength from your internal resources and things you can do for yourself benefits you when you come to a place you need to be strong.
So, with genuine thought this time, from where do you derive courage when your confidence down around your ankles? Â What can you do to power ahead when that flight reflex kicks in?
Self Talk
Every day we send ourselves messages. I catch myself doing it without even thinking. “Alicia, that was a bonehead move.” Or “You can’t do that. You’d have a panic attack in front of everyone.” “You will never achieve that. You are too old.” “No one wants to read your blog. Â You should just give up. No one cares about what you have to say.”
Wow. And that’s just the beautiful things I’ve caught myself whispering to my spirit in the last week. Â Does that sound familiar? It’s just me, right? I doubt it.
We wouldn’t utter these words to someone else. Why must we tear ourselves down with this damaging self-talk?
My commitment:Â I believe that I am sacrificing my own sanity and increasing my anxiety issues (diagnosed agoraphobic) with this negative self-talk.
I scoured the internet and found two motivational quotes that resonated with me.
- BElieve in YOUrself.
- You are stronger than you seem, braver than you believe, and smarter than you think you are.
I scribbled it on my bathroom mirror in liquid chalk. Â It’s bright, and I have to see it every morning and night when I tend to my daily life routines. Â It’s bold and hard to miss. Â It’s easy to wipe off if I want to change the message.
Words have the power to change our lives.  What kind of power will you give them?
The more we know
I believe that knowledge is power. Â We have brilliant minds that should exercise just like our bodies do. On the inside, I think that learning new skills makes us more confident in our abilities to take care of ourselves.
If you can fix your basic plumbing issues, change your tires, and cook your nutritious meals, Â you will not only add a few clinks to your change jar but also empower yourself.
Every year, my New Year’s Resolution consists of one thing: Learn something new. Â This year, I chose to try to master targeting basics. Â I’ve always been afraid that if I would be too timid to shoot a handgun. Â My negative self-talk would kick in. Â “You will have a panic attack if you try that.”
My husband is a marksman or expert in several firearms, and I felt comfortable with him teaching me. Â He understands my anxiety issues well. Â I am blessed that he is a very patient man.
He stood right beside me, illustrating proper grips, and demonstrating proper stance.
When I first started shooting, I did feel a bit anxious. Â However, I learned that the gun didn’t kick as much as I anticipated and the sound wasn’t as loud as I thought it would be.
My anxiety subsided. I overcame the negative self-talk. After three weekends of practice, I hit the target! Yay me! Â I felt empowered because I had learned something new. Â I overcame my anxiety and was able to do something I didn’t think was possible.
It gives my husband and I a new hobby that we can share. Â And I gained the confidence in a new skill.
Here and Now
I feel weak and frightened like a scared deer when I panic about the future. Â I feel overwhelmed by obstacles and failures when I dwell in the future. Â Focus on the moment. Â Planning for the future is not the same as fretting over it.
Sometimes, people let their fear of what may become stop them from moving forward. Â They let the past dictate their current thoughts. Â These things make them stagnant in the present.
Allow yourself to fully experience the moment. When eating your meals, slow down. Â Savor each bite. What does it taste like? How is the texture? Do any aromas evoke memories? Experience life that way, too. Â You only live one life. Â Be in the present for it.
Move It, Move It, Move It
I feel secure when I am healthy. Â I have battled extra pounds before. Â I’ve lost weight before. Â However, it didn’t really change my outlook on life. Â I was skinny, but still hopelessly depressed, moody, and angry.
This time around, I added exercise to the mix, and I feel a world of difference. Â My body is stronger than it was then. Â More oxygen is flowing, and my nutrition is better, so my mind works better. Â It’s easier to remember things. Â My thinking is clearer than before. Â Serotonin levels increased making me feel less agitated. Â I feel healthier, even though I am not as thin now as I was then.
Also, my health issues are in my hands. I don’t feel as helpless. Â I feel like I am doing something about my high blood pressure and cholesterol. Â Honestly, they haven’t reduced since I’ve gotten healthier, but I know that I’ve done everything I can. Â That’s an empowering feeling.
I can do things for myself that I couldn’t do before. Â If I had just lost weight through limiting caloric intake, I wouldn’t be physically stronger or more flexible. My balance would not have improved. Â Because I am physically more capable than I was a year ago, I feel empowered to do more in life. Â That gives me internal strength and increased confidence.
I feel stronger when I can carry in groceries on my own. Â I feel more energetic and happier. Â My circumstances haven’t changed for the better. Â My outlook on them has improved, however.
Your Turn to Be Stronger
So, now that I’ve spilled my guts, what gives you strength and courage? How do you find the confidence to put one foot in front of the other?  Think deep, here.  I’m looking for answers more creative than your favorite friends or family members.
Alicia Taylor
We enjoy hosting parties and my husband and I are both avid gamers. You can find me on PS4 as SunshineFlaGirl. We also play tabletop RPGs and eurogames.
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34 Comments
Fall off the wagon? Re-evaluate Your Goals! • TaylorLife
July 25, 2016 - 4:47 pm[…] Write it on your mirror in liquid chalk. “I am not a bad person.” […]
Amanda m
June 16, 2016 - 10:29 pmChoose love! Choose happiness. Choose to keep negativity and hurtful comments to yourself
Brianna George
June 16, 2016 - 10:19 pmWords are so important. They definitely matter. When we speak down to ourselves we speak in agreement with every negative things said over us in our lives.
The Trophy WifeStyle
June 15, 2016 - 10:53 pmDefinitely some great reminders here! You must take care of yourself if you want success. You can’t make others happy if you’re not happy yourself
Samantha
June 15, 2016 - 11:19 amGreat reminder. We are our own worst enemies so often.
Emily, Our house now a home
June 14, 2016 - 11:04 amI love this! It is so important to take care of yourself, cheer yourself on and take control of things. Great reminder!
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:51 pmWell, at least take control of the things that are within our control. It’s equally important to know the difference.
Tonya C
June 14, 2016 - 9:58 amYes! Words have power. I put posters with inspirational sayings on them in my kids room so they are surrounded by positive mantras!
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:51 pmI love this idea!
Claudia K.
June 14, 2016 - 8:10 amThis is a great post!! love it! ! I really do have to remind myself to slow way down and experience things sometimes….live in the moment!!!
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:52 pmLife moves at a breakneck pace, sometimes. Slowing down isn’t always easy.
maria @ close to home
June 14, 2016 - 6:24 amI wish I found more ways to empower myself as well. These are great suggestions.
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:52 pmYou have to look for them in everyday situations.
April J Harris (@apriljharris)
June 14, 2016 - 3:59 amThis is an excellent post and I so enjoyed reading it. You are right, we do need to learn to depend on our own strength and you have shared some really great ways to do that. I do find that by trying to keep fit and eat healthily that I can impact my feelings of strength and capability. I also really like motivational quotes and reading positive, helpful articles like this one to encourage myself.
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:54 pmThank you so much, April. Your comments mean a lot. I’m glad that you found this article helpful. Now, I just have to continue to apply these steps in action, myself.
Sandra
June 13, 2016 - 11:14 pmI’m glad you mentioned exercise! I think we often overlook the benefit (mental as well as physical) that we gain from exercise.
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:55 pmEven though I had lost weight previously, I eventually gained it all back. This time, I added fitness every day. I felt better this time! That’s the only thing I did different.
Autumn
June 13, 2016 - 11:04 pmI love self affirmations like these. I love these reminders!
acowboyslife
June 13, 2016 - 9:56 pmThese are great reminders to look deep down into what makes us stronger. Love that words have power – wish more people would realize that!
Liz Mays
June 13, 2016 - 8:47 pmThis is awesome! I really do have to remind myself to slow way down and experience things sometimes. I don’t like being on autopilot!
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:56 pmI don’t either, but frequently, that’s exactly where I find myself!
Stephanie Manley
June 13, 2016 - 8:20 pmI LOVE the quote BElieve in YOUrself! I find confidence in waking up each morning with another chance at life. Each day you are given, is just another day to better yourself.
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:56 pmI agree! There is only one you – be the best You that you can be.
loisaltermark
June 13, 2016 - 5:05 pmThere are so many different ways to empower ourselves. And we need to learn which ones work for us.
Denise
June 13, 2016 - 4:32 pmI’m with you on the exercise. It does so many wonderful things for your body and your mind.
Neely (@Neelykins)
June 13, 2016 - 4:31 pmI am so hard on myself and can be so negative. These words are a great reminder.
Helene Cohen Bludman
June 13, 2016 - 2:34 pmI need to build myself up when I get down. It’s not good to be so self-critical.
Tamara
June 13, 2016 - 1:19 pmYou’re speaking my language. I have diagnosed PTSD from my father’s sudden death. I’ve used a lot of self talk – little affirmations and the like.
Exercise helps a LOT. Opening up to loved ones too, but that is hard.
Inner strength is pretty much like magic.
Alicia Taylor
June 14, 2016 - 12:58 pmSo many things impact us. Letting go of them can be difficult. Reaching out when we need help can be even harder.
Jacqui Odell
June 13, 2016 - 1:16 pmThis is a great post! Lots of encouraging and useful works. The thing that hits me the most is live for the moment. I forget to do that!
irishred13
June 13, 2016 - 12:32 pmGreat words of wisdom. Words do have power, be it positive or negative.
Chelley
June 13, 2016 - 12:14 pmI think it is important to hold yourself to higher standards, but also realistic. I find that it is hard to do this and remain positive, but it is a mission of mine!
Ellen Christian (@ellenblogs)
June 13, 2016 - 11:22 amThese are all great ways to feel stronger and more positive. For me, taking control of my health is big.
Robin Rue
June 13, 2016 - 10:45 amI am definitely hard on myself. I have those thoughts all the time and need to stop!